I don't know about you but being this time of year we've received quite a few family Christmas newsletters over the last few weeks. My parents never did this sort of thing when I was little so I always thought it was an odd tradition. Although I enjoy reading everyone elses letters I always think no one would be interested in what we've been up to this year so have never bothered to write one. But then as I thought about it I realised that this blog is in someways a year round version of one of those letters. And then as I thought about it a bit more I thought facebook is like another version of the same thing - letting everyone know what you've been up to just on an even more regular basis.
I've also realised that family newsletters come in all sorts of styles; some are funny, some are serious, some are long, some are short, etc. Sometimes you get one and it seems like the family has had the most amazing year and each family member has accomplished an insane amount of life goals, and you're left feeling a bit miserable at the sorry state of your comparitvely boring life. This then got me thinking back to a conversation I had a while ago with a rather wise friend (Mr Wells)! I was saying how some people seem to go through life (or at least phases of life) when they just get a load of bad luck. I'm sure most people can think of someone they know who always seems to have rubbish stuff happening to them repeatedly. On the other hand there's probably someone you know that seems to have it all and has a great life.
Well I once heard someone say that in a person's life they will inevitably go through good things and bad things, but those things won't be in a regular cycle. It won't happen that in January something really bad happens, but then February is a great month, then March is bad, while April is good etc etc. Good and bad events will happen in a random sequence, so at some point someone will probably have a string of rubbish things happen while someone else will have a string of good things happen. However, what my friend and I discussed was that there's also a big role in how a person describes what's going on in their lives in the impression it gives to those around them on the quality of their life. This is often true with things like facebook, people can be as selective as they like about what goes on there in order to control the impression people have of their lives. You can just choose to write about the good stuff and put photos up of the exciting things you've done, thus giving your friends the impression that your life is full of great stuff.
Here I've written two brief accounts of our past year. They're both true but very different ways of putting things...
1) This year has been a really difficult one and we've faced many challenges. William's fits have on many occasions become out of control. He has caught many colds, suffered a chest infection and an acute life threatening episode back in May. He has had to change doctors, spent many nights in hospital and had more appointments than you could believe. He has grown so heavy and still has no control over his head so is really heavy to carry around. We now have to have lots of bulky equipment for him in the house. On top of this we are having to move out of the house we bought less than two years ago which we love. We have worked so hard on the house and because of William's disability we are being forced to sell it to buy a new house with no character. William's development is very slow and he still can't really do anything and earlier this year he was diagnosed as being cortically blind. Tango has become suddenly very old and is needing expensive medicine to treat arthritus. Our fridge freezer has packed in a couple of times, Steve's car needed new brakes, Helen has a sore rash on her arm that no one can diagnose, William has had several severe bouts of nappy rash and the next door neighbour still insists on calling Steve Chris.
2) This past year has had many highlights as we've enjoyed watching William grow. We were so happy to celebrate his first birthday which was a really special day. William has become more smiley and has the most beautfiul smile ever and he loves showing off his eight little teeth. While his movement and vision aren't the best he seems to be looking at our faces more and has more of an awareness of Steve and I. He likes to be cuddled when he's sleepy. He loves his nana's singing and playing with all his amazing new toys. He has made several new friends this year, including a little girl who is also tube fed. While his consultant is on leave we've been very fortunate with the doctor covering him as she is really lovely and approachable. Whilst he has spent his fair share of time in hospital, we've got to know all the staff on the ward much better and we now feel much more relaxed being there and enjoy talking with the nurses. We're so blessed to have the input we have from a wide range of people including a physiotherapist, occupational therapist, speech and language therapist, visual impairment teacher, health visitor, community nurses and doctor and soon we will have a portage worker. We are so impressed with all the amazing equipment provided through the NHS which we otherwise couldn't afford including specialist seating, bath support and bed. We are now looking forward to moving house in the new year as the new house will be much better suited to us as a family and to William as he grows older. We exchanged on the house this week just in time for Christmas! We've been able to pick the kitchen and some of the decor in the new house and can't wait to get in now to start making it our home. Tango turned 13 this year and still enjoys running and chasing sticks while Max is still as cheeky and cuddly as ever. We are grateful to have Steve's parents living close by who help us with lots of things, including dog walking.
So anyway, if you're one of those people (like me) who gets depressed looking on facebook at how great everyone else's lives seem, or read everyone's christmas newsletters and think 'wow my family is so boring compared to them' then remember things aren't always as they first seem.
On a final note, after reading all of this year's newsletters and of the accomplishments achieved by everyone it made me think about the things we value in life. This year there have been a couple of occasions where we thought we might lose people, and although everything turned out fine in the end we remember how things could have been so different. So although we'll never write in our Christmas newsletter that William learnt to walk, or write, or spell, or ride his bike this year, so long as William is still here and giving us the most amazing smiles in the world, so amazing they make you cry with happiness, then that's all that matters.
Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year, love from the Carlsons xxx
As thought provoking as ever Mrs C. You truly are amazing. Love you lots xxxx
ReplyDeleteA good read! Made me think x
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